The Last Fish…

Yesterday morning was Sunday morning, and I found myself struggling a little to get out of bed. Perhaps I ate too much the night before, and had some difficulty getting to sleep, though I did sleep. Not wanting to miss the Sunday market, and not feeling hungry, I got up, had my morning devotion, and got ready for the day. Then I fed the fish and headed out on the motorbike, slowly riding down the hill with the breaks on and the motor off, until I could park the bike outside the fence, closed the fence, and then got the bike started.

There were many motorbikes parked at the market, so I took the most convenient spot across the road and walked past many other bikes and into the market. I looked around for the lady who sells noodles, but if she was there, she wasn’t selling noodles (I looked for the noodles and didn’t see them, as I’m not sure I can recognize her yet without them.), but I did see some coconut and some of those delicious yellow bean curd. They taste like eggs and I have been wondering if maybe they are actually made from or with eggs, but I think I was told they were like tofu, but made from a different bean. I bought 30 this time, and the man threw in a few extra (whether intentionally or accidentally, I do not know) and 3 packets of sauce. I also purchased some soft tofu from him.

Then I went to look for the other items, some dish soap, steel wool, a sponge, a notebook or paper, and a few other things. I looked for matches and found a lighter, but was not sure if the boxes that were packaged with the lighter were matches or some form of cigarette, so I did not get them. I think I found everything else on my list, and an interesting cloth with pockets that makes a good case for my small Bible and passport, something else I was keeping my eyes open for. I purchased from a few different people, and all my purchases today included:

From the couple with the many boxes and baskets…

  • 1 cute item that I want to keep secret for now
  • mini cotton swabs (my ears needed a good cleaning)
  • 2 bottles of dish soap packaged together with a sponge
  • two different types of sponges packaged together with “steel wool” or some other type of metallic scrubbing tool and a small sample of dish soap
  • something that makes a nice case for my small Bible and passport, and I can probably put my cards and cellphone in it, too
  • a cute package of toothbrushes with two adult toothbrushes and one child toothbrush. This was a wonderful find, as it gives me a clean, new toothbrush for scrubbing vegetables and fruit and a clean, new toothbrush for scrubbing dishes. I can reserve the old, used toothbrushes for more dirtier cleaning, and the child sized toothbrush is better for my teeth. I had looked for a new one at Walmart and the Dollar Tree before leaving, but settled with an adult toothbrush instead. Now I’m glad to have the baby/child sized toothbrush.

From the couple with the tables of goodies hygiene items (personal and household)…

  • dried/seasoned seaweed
  • laundry detergent (It was 18 baht for one pack, but he said he would give me 3 for 50 baht. It’s only a difference of 4 baht, I think, but I took him up on his offer, and it should last me a few months, at least, depending on how much washing I do.)


  • 1 coconut from the lady who was selling coconuts and other items (purchased this on my way out) She gave me a straw with it and offered to crack it open for me, but I did not want to drink it nor to spill it yet, so I declined
  • 30 of those delicious fried bean curd (or egg, whatever it is) and 1 bag of tofu on my way in from the man who was selling them. There was a woman there, too, so maybe they are a couple.

When I say “couple”, I do not really know if they are a married couple or family or just working together, though I assume the first or second, but I mean there were two people there and, in each case that I can remember, a man and a woman. I didn’t buy from every stand, because I didn’t need things that some stands had. On my way out a young man kept saying, “Sa-wat-dii-kab” to me. The sun was bright and I covered my eyes to get a better look at him. He motioned with his head and repeated himself. I think I smiled and said, “Sa-wat-dii-kaa” in response, but continued on my way. I hope I didn’t seem rude. I was not trying to be. I’m not sure if he was saying hello because he recognized me, was trying to get my attention to get me to buy something from the stand that he was at, or if he was saying goodbye because he saw me on my way out, as Sa-wat-dii can mean both. I think I was a bit slow to recognize and process what he was saying, too. I hope he has forgiven me. I’m sure God has, as I have asked Him also. I did not mean to be rude in either case.

The whole trip cost me 245 baht which coverts to about 6.79 USD according to google as I key this journal entry, and many of those supplies should last me at least a few months (I hope.). I am so thankful for how God provided. God is good. I’m thankful for His protection also, both there and back, and for self control. I had expected the 30+ goodies to last me at least a couple to a few days, but ate them all in that one day, though not all in one meal. They are addicting, and I have been wondering if maybe they are seasoned with MSG, which I need to remind myself is used commonly here as a seasoning (at least I think it is) which is from what I understand addicting, or if they are just addicting because they are fried, or because they taste so delicious, or maybe because of the sauce used on them. They are very delicious and even good cold. I was naughty and ate the sauce in the first meal, but in the second seasoned them with coconut oil, turmeric, and salt. They were delicious that way, too. Yum!


yellow bean curd (2)

This picture is from the first time I ate them. The lady who took me in for a few days bought them at the Sunday market long with noodles and a sweet, gummy snack made from sticky rice and coconut. I saw those at the Sunday market this week, too, but did not get any.

I gave myself a little bit more room to open up the fence, but found myself parking under the tree on the right-hand side. I thought to park there and push the bike out was better than to risk crashing or dropping the bike trying to go out backwards, and going in was better than sideswiping the branches and getting scratched up or crashing. Check my Is118J316 Thailand playlist for the video that will be coming later. I did manage to get the bike out from under the tree and properly parked.

I had some of the treats for breakfast (or brunch) and watched some videos on youtube. Also during the day, I did a large load of laundry, watched more youtube videos, uploaded a video onto youtube, put together some videos that need further editing before uploading, found myself getting bored, and saying to myself (or thinking, at least), that I shouldn’t be getting bored in Thailand, so I went outside to do some cleaning, and found a small bottom feeder floating belly-up in the water. I’m not sure if it was really dead or not, but I looked closely and it didn’t seem to be moving, so I scooped it out with one of the coconut shells that was lying around (I did put on some plastic gloves first), and then dumped it along with the other dead fish into the food scrap pile. These things are not listed in the correct order for how they happened, and at least some things, such as the videos, may have been done throughout at different portions of the day. I also knocked a spider web down.

For supper I finished off the bean curd (or egg, whatever it is) along with some apples and a still-not-ripe avocado, and the crumbs from the crackers that a lady made for me to take on the trip. They sustained me (along with a few other goodies) on the trip and also my first few days here at the studio (I had frozen them). I wish that I had known I could so easily walk through customs without them checking my bag, for I had dried fruit, seeds, nuts, and another bag of crackers that I threw away, in case they would not be approved of by customs, but I realize that if I had had more faith, or waited to see what customs would do (I wanted to avoid trouble, but the worst they might have done was probably have me throw them away or hand them over for confiscation), then I probably could still be enjoying some of those things now. To those who gave me this food, I’m sorry. Please forgive me for being wasteful. I wish I had known, or trusted more, or not let worry get the best of me.

I had a good night’s rest, though I went to bed some time after 10, I think, and slept in this morning. When I went out to feed the fish, I found the big bottom feeder belly up, but I prayed over it and told it in Jesus’ name to live (more than once), and moved the bucket, and also touched it (later, after coming in and praying more), and most of the times it responded by rolling over, diving back down into the bucket, and returning to the surface belly up. I hope that it was just sunning itself, or if it was hungry that it is eating now. I do not know what was wrong with these fish, but I washed my hands very well. I’m about to take the scraps out from breakfast (I had started to prepare potatoes, but had tofu sandwiches and the coconut water instead, and will check on the fish again.

The fish was still alive, but still floating on its back, and it seems less often responsive this time. I poured more water into the bin, and it seemed to respond, so I took it out and put it in another bucket and changed the water and gave it more food, but the response seems very minimal. I have resigned myself to the Lord’s will. If the fish dies, it dies. It will be sad that all the fish in my care died, and I wonder why it had to happen while the others were away and while I was taking care of them. I still hope and pray that the fish will live, if it is God’s will.

I’ve washed up and changed my clothes now, and am hoping for the best, but may the Lord’s will be done.

To those who left them in my care, I’m sorry that I did not take better care of them, and I am sorry that I do not know what to do for them. I’m sorry that they died. Please forgive me.

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