How did this happen?

How did this happen? Please forgive me. I have backslidden severely, and am not sure that the damage is repairable, except that  “I can do all things through Christ[a] who strengthens me.” (Philippians 4:13, NKJV)

It’s not that I had ever truly abandoned the use of eggs and milk completely nor entirely, but I had been so much more careful, and doing so much better. I had even been doing better about avoiding spicy, vinegar, baking powder, chocolate, soy sauce, and other harmful foods. When I did crack open an egg, it was mainly for the sake of my health, and only free-range (an hopefully organic) eggs and I didn’t even enjoy the fried eggs, though I think I may have liked the boiled ones…
Then I came here, and began to eat eggs a little more freely, because I perceived that the eggs were local and the chickens were obviously free range (and the baby males not thrown into a grinder. Then I began to eat quail eggs and conventional eggs, but not every week. I even backslid to the point of willingly eating things that contained milk…How hypocritical is it to eat bread that contains milk and egg and washing it down with soymilk?
Then I came here…and began to eat eggs even more freely ,almost every day and more than once on many days, and foods that contain milk also more freely…and spicy and other things. I also took food that was not vegetarian because of chicken flavored powder, and possibly fish sauce and maybe even oyster sauce (unclean), but I did not know that it was used until after, I think…
And then I began to suffer…
And so I backed up a little bit, my main concern being the cutting out of spicy food, especially chili, and the eating of more fruit.
And I began to heal…
Too many say you can justify choices that violate the naws of nature and health if it is the healthiest thing available, if it’s necessary for survival, to avoid hurting the feelings of others, to be a loving witness to others to show that you care about them by eating what they offer you, and other excuses. I have tested this theory and proven it false. What is a balanced diet? A balanced diet won’t leave you feeling weak, tired, sick, and in pain, with tender spots that you can actually touch, where even the application of water causes pain.
I still haven’t corrected my diet completely, but I am learning that I can’t just eat whatever I want without consequences. Please forgive me, my vegan followers…I’m trying to get back on the right track. Please forgive me if, while in Bangkok, I eat some eggs with pumpkin because it won’t be as painful as the spicy tofu, and because it will give me some needed vitamin A and B-12. Please forgive me if I eat a bun that contains a tiny bit of milk and egg because it is gentle on my stomach and will help with the healing process in my insides, and more nutritious than the plain white rice. Please be patient with me. I’m working my way back to the total vegetarian (vegan except for honey) diet because I do believe it is the best for me, except that it may be necessary for me to eat eggs occasionally, but I know I’ll have no excuse for the milk…Maybe in a few weeks you’ll see some more vegan recipes (except that I’ll still use honey, because it’s better than certain other sugar and will help with the healing process).
Please pray for me. Thank you…
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